Recent discussionson Ghana’s legal framework regarding rape, have highlighted concerns over its effectiveness in protecting and delivering justice for men who may be victims of sexual assault.
The Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of the EYA Foundation for African Leaders, Dr. Esther Yesutor, has called for significant reforms in Ghana’s constitution to address this issue. She argues that the current legal definitions and protections are inadequate for male victims of sexual violence.
During a recent discussion on sexual assault, Dr. Yesutor criticized this limitation, pointing out that the prevailing legal definitions fail to address the realities faced by male victims.
She stated, “You think that sexual abuse is mostly a female thing. But when you pick 71 men, at least one of them has been sexually abused.
But the unfortunate thing about our part of the world, especially in Ghana, is that men cannot be raped. So if you are a man in Ghana and somebody has sex with you without your consent, you cannot regard that as rape, so you get no justice for that.”
Under Ghana’s Criminal Offences Act of 1960 (Act 29), specifically Section 98 of Chapter 6 on Sexual Offences, the term “rape” is narrowly defined as the “carnal knowledge of a female” without her consent.
This gender-specific definition excludes men from being recognized as victims of rape under the current legal framework.
For reference, Ghana’s Criminal Offences Act outlines rape and other sexual offences as follows: Section 97 defines rape as a first-degree felony, with imprisonment ranging from five to twenty-five years. Section 98 specifies that rape is the carnal knowledge of a female aged sixteen or above without her consent.
Section 99 requires proof of at least the slightest degree of penetration for an offence to be considered rape. Section 102 addresses carnal knowledge of individuals with mental incapacity, imposing imprisonment for a term of five to twenty-five years.
Dr. Esther Yesutor has made a clarion call for legal adjustments to better encompass and protect all victims of sexual violence, regardless of gender.
She emphasized, “Rape can only be perpetrated by people who have a penis. How? If a woman forces herself on you, that is sexual assault and not rape, and I think our lawyers would have to do something about that.”
The limitations in the current legal framework have been associated with underreporting and lack of comprehensive data on male victims of sexual violence. Societal attitudes and stigma contribute to the difficulties in documenting and addressing these cases effectively in the country.
Legally, men in Ghana cannot be raped – Dr. Esther Yesutor claims
According to her, the current law in Ghana does not recognize men as potential rape victims, and she is calling for a revision to provide legal recourse for abused men.
Relationship Coach Reverend Daniel Annan has stated that it is natural for men to feel uneasy when they abstain from sexual activities.
During a conversation about infidelity on Joy Prime’s Prime Morning, covered by MyNewsGh.com, he mentioned that it is crucial for a woman to understand what will keep a man committed and prevent him from cheating.
“When you want doves to come to your house, all you have to do is to make your water sweet. They will always come there. ” He likened it to a relationship
He explained that to keep a man in a relationship, a woman must first offer him the highest level of respect.
He also added that men are attracted to women who are supportive and who maintain a satisfying sexual relationship.
“We cannot survive without sex as men. We will die”, he said amid laughter.
A recent video circulating on social media features men discussing the repercussions of the sudden internet crisis on their daily routines, particularly highlighting the absence of access to pornographic content.
During interviews on GHOne TV, several men expressed frustration over the sudden internet outage, citing their inability to access pornographic materials as a significant drawback.
One man emphasised that pornography boosts his confidence when interacting with women.
He asserted, “I find it easier to communicate with women when I have access to pornographic content. The sudden internet outage has greatly affected me because I can no longer access such material.”
Another individual mentioned how the internet helps him learn various sexual techniques, enhancing his intimate experiences.
He lamented the disruption caused by the sudden outage, saying, “I rely on the internet to learn different styles for sexual encounters with my partner. The outage has had a significant impact on me.”
Additionally, a taxi driver shared his views, acknowledging that while he can control his viewing habits regarding pornography, the outage still affected him.
He cautioned against children accessing such content, noting its potential to disrupt their adult lives.
These statements have ignited debates on social media, with many expressing surprise at the viewpoints while others have criticized them.
Ghanaian socialite and actress Andrea Owusu known popularly as Efia Odo expressed her disapproval of women who take the initiative to propose to men, labelling it as both embarrassing and senseless.
The budding singer and influencer questioned the rationale behind women kneeling down to propose and pondered whether this act also implies they would bear the expenses of the wedding.
Odo highlighted the traditional social norms in Africa, emphasizing that it has historically been the man’s role to kneel down and propose love and marriage to a woman.
However, she acknowledged that modern trends appear to be challenging these traditional gender roles.
“Women stop proposing to men, Stop proposing to men, what is that, it’s embarrassing, does it mean you will pay the wedding bills, it’s stupidity,” Efia Odo stated.
Efia was a U.S based assistant nurse who relocated to Ghana.
She was born on the 18th of July 1993 and hails from Juaben in the Ashanti region of Ghana and is currently pursuing her passion in acting.
A recent survey by the Ghana Statistical Service has revealed a concerning trend: 7 out of 10 men aged 15-49 in Ghana do not use condoms during sexual activities.
This revelation not only highlights attitudes towards condom usage but also raises alarms about potential implications for public health, particularly regarding HIV/AIDS transmission.
Understanding the Landscape of Condom Use
The survey paints a clear picture of current sexual health practices among Ghanaian men. The reluctance or refusal to use condoms indicates gaps in sexual health education and accessibility challenges.
In a country still grappling with HIV/AIDS, addressing the reasons behind low condom usage is crucial.
Impact on HIV/AIDS Spread
The connection between low condom usage and rising HIV/AIDS cases cannot be ignored. Condoms are a proven method for preventing HIV transmission and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Without widespread and consistent use, the fight against HIV/AIDS in Ghana faces significant challenges.
Urgent Need for Comprehensive Strategies
The survey underscores the need for comprehensive strategies to combat HIV/AIDS spread, focusing on education, accessibility, and stigma reduction.
Education as a Powerful Tool
Enhanced sexual health education is essential in changing behaviors and perceptions. Initiatives should dispel myths and promote the importance of condom use in preventing HIV/AIDS.
Improving Condom Accessibility
Ensuring affordable and readily available condoms nationwide, including in remote areas, is crucial. Government, NGOs, and the private sector must collaborate to achieve this goal.
Addressing Cultural and Social Stigmas
Cultural and social stigmas often deter individuals from using condoms and seeking HIV/AIDS prevention measures. Normalizing conversations about sexual health and engaging community leaders can help change societal attitudes.
A Call to Action
The survey findings call for collective action from stakeholders involved in public health and HIV/AIDS prevention. By prioritizing education, accessibility, and stigma reduction, Ghana can work towards a healthier future free from the burden of HIV/AIDS.
It’s a shared responsibility that requires the involvement of the entire society to safeguard the well-being of all Ghanaians.
The founder of Heritage Men’s Clinic, Dr. Rasheed Adedapo emphasizes the importance of men engaging in sexual intercourse at least 21 times a month to reduce the risk of prostate cancer.
In a recent interview on the Dr. Ken show, Dr. Adedapo explained, “The concept in Physiology is if you don’t use it, you lose it. The form of exercise a prostate gland gets is during erection, and that erection comes with sexual intercourse. So the study is actually clear that a man must have sexual intercourse 21 times a month to avoid prostate issues or cardiovascular issues.”
To address the issue, Dr. Adedapo encourages married men to ensure satisfaction in their relationships and suggests seeking alternatives if necessary.
He advises, “If you have a wife, do whatever it takes to please her so she can give it to you 21 times a month. If she doesn’t please you, I advocate to you that you can actually get a side chick.”
Prostate cancer, a common form of cancer, occurs in the small walnut-shaped gland in males responsible for producing seminal fluid that nourishes and transports sperm.
Dr. Adedapo’s recommendations aim to promote overall prostate health and reduce the risk of such health issues.
Watch video below:
According to Dr. Rasheed Adedapo, it’s imperative for a man to have sex 21 times a month in order to prevent prostrate cancer. pic.twitter.com/Nso2e7ZRpg
Navigating the male psyche can be a mystery for many, but understanding the little gestures that bring joy to men can foster a strong and lasting connection. Here are key ways to make your man feel loved daily:
Let Him Make You Laugh:Men often seek external validation, and making them feel appreciated externally can be significant. Laughter is a powerful tool, providing validation and creating a sense of joy in the relationship. Let your man know that his humor is appreciated, fostering a deeper connection.
Acknowledge His Giving: Men often express love through giving, and acknowledging their efforts is crucial. Whether it’s a gift or a thoughtful gesture, appreciate the intention and effort behind it. Recognizing his giving nature builds a sense of love and appreciation in the relationship.
Let Him Help You: While women are natural caregivers, allowing men to contribute and take charge is equally essential. Balance the responsibilities in the relationship, and let your man take the lead in certain aspects. Acknowledge his efforts, fostering a sense of teamwork and shared responsibility.
Lead with Your Feminine Energy: Embrace the feminine energy within you, allowing your man to feel strong and protective. While modern society promotes equality, acknowledging primal instincts can deepen the emotional connection. Softness and nurturing qualities can make your man feel strong and loved.
Let Him Know When He Finds Your ON Button: Physical intimacy is a crucial aspect of making men feel loved and connected. Communicate what turns you on, guiding your man to understand your desires. When he discovers your “ON button,” it creates a win-win situation, enhancing intimacy and strengthening the bond.
Understanding these subtle ways to make your man feel loved can contribute to a happy and healthy relationship.
A decrease in sperm count can significantly reduce the chances of fertilization, posing a growing concern for men globally.
Health professionals identify low sperm count as an underlying issue linked to hormonal imbalances, inherited chromosomal abnormalities, and dilated testicular veins. These conditions can obstruct the passage of sperm, leading to early signs of damage.
While complete absence of sperm is a situation most men want to avoid, research indicates that a sperm count is considered lower than normal when there are fewer than 15 million sperm per milliliter of semen. Despite having a low sperm count, many men can still father a child.
In addition to hormonal or inherited causes, there are common habits and practices that can unknowingly contribute to damage and lower sperm count.
GhanaWeb has compiled a list of these causes and habits based on research, shedding light on factors that individuals might not be aware of.
Tight Boxers:
Most men rather wear tight pants instead of wearing boxers. These tight pants often keep your testicles closer to the body which results in warm temperatures that kill sperm and equally lead to a low sperm count.
Infections:
The most common factor of low sperm count could be associated with infections and these could be sexually transmitted ones.
They often occur in the testicles and can block sperm production or cause an abnormal discharge. Some of these infections could be derived from Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) such as gonorrhea or HIV.
These infections if not properly treated could result in permanent damage to the testis and subsequently lead to infertility.
Varicoceles:
Varicoceles is the swelling of the testis veins which is also a major cause of low sperm count and infertility often found among men.
Varicoceles create an abnormal temperature inside the testis which might kill some sperm or reduce sperm quality. Health professionals however say this could be treated.
Prolonged use of laptops and phones
Another common cause of low sperm count is the persistent use of laptops under one’s lap. Most laptops often generate a heat temperature of up to 70°C while in use.
Owing to this, a rather prolonged use of laptops carried on the laps may cause irreparable damage to a male’s reproductive function.
Health professionals have advised that laptops placed on a table or desk during use. For mobile phones, health professionals advise that it be placed in the back pocket.
Drugs, Steroids and Alcohol
Studies have shown that the excessive use of some legal and illegal drugs, alcohol can have long-lasting effects on male reproductive function.
It’s been found that some anti-inflammatory drugs like Sulfasalazine and other anti-cancer drugs can cause sperm damage.
The use of cocaine, tobacco, marijuana and other illicit drugs also can result in low sperm count.
This story was originally published on April 2, 2021 by GhanaWeb
Experiencing a sense of being unwanted in a relationship often translates to feelings of neglect or a perceived lack of priority. In such instances, particularly for women, there can be a sensation of shouldering all the emotional burdens within the relationship.
This sentiment of feeling unwanted can give rise to tensions in the relationship, prompting reactions from both men and women. When hurt, let down, or unloved, individuals may resort to verbal attacks as a means to elicit emotional engagement from their partners. Unfortunately, this can result in a harmful pattern, with exaggerated words like “never” or “always” characterizing the partner’s perceived unfeeling behavior. The critical tone and intense emotions may unknowingly come across as harsh or manipulative.
In the midst of such attacks, it’s crucial to recognize that the individuals involved might not fully grasp the impact of their words and actions. The attacking partner may not realize the fear instilled in the loved one. The partner, in turn, might react by shutting down or withdrawing, leaving the attacker feeling ignored and unimportant.
This triggers a primal survival response— the fight-or-flight instinct. While one partner takes flight to preserve their well-being, the other engages in a fight to uncover the underlying issues of perceived indifference.
Romantic relationships hold immense significance for our emotional and physical well-being, and any perceived threat to them can lead to regression. Unfortunately, this cycle of feeling unwanted and reacting with verbal attacks can become a daily occurrence for many couples. Resulting in frustration, confusion, and pain, this lose-lose scenario tends to weaken the marital bond instead of fortifying it.
7 avoidable mistakes that may cause a woman to feel unwanted
1. Greeting her in an emotionally flat tone.
Even though you are tired and stressed out, she wants to know that you look forward to seeing her. In fact, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini told Fox 26 Houston that it takes just 60 seconds to set the tone in your relationship.
“Whether they’re meeting you for lunch or they’re meeting you at an event or when they come home, it’s important you stop what you’re doing at least for 60 seconds and greet them,” Rapini encouraged. “Smile at them, act happy that you see them there with you.”
What to do instead: Acknowledge that it is great to be home with her before you unpack your emotions from the day.
2. Leaving her alone at a social event.
Whether they’re an introvert or extrovert, women do want to be with their guy at a social event. While no one expects you to be glued to each other’s side at all times, ditching your wife for the entire duration of the night can leave her feeling neglected.
“Good relationships are like good teams,” relationship expert and licensed psychologist Susan Orenstein, Ph.D, told PsychCentral. “you’re a couple; you chose each other and you need to be emotionally supportive in private and public.”
What to do instead: There may be times when it makes sense to separate to get caught up with an old friend or to a business network. If you check in before you separate and then circle back, she will feel connected rather than rejected. Orenstein also suggests making an effort to make eye contact and smile throughout the night, so even if you aren’t by each other’s side, you know you’re still on each other’s minds.
3. Invalidating her feelings.
There may be occasions when you don’t understand or agree with your partner’s feelings in their entirety. It may be simple to brush them off at those times. But doing so would be the equivalent of telling her that her feelings are unimportant.
Over time, this can lead her to stop trusting you, chipping away at the very foundation of your relationship.
What to do instead: In an article for PyschCentral, licensed psychologist Suzanne B. Phillips, Psy.D., ABPP gives some suggestions for how to break the cycle of invalidation, including watching the tone you use when speaking to your partner and making an honest effort to understand where she is coming from.
4. Being more animated and having more fun with friends than with her.
This sends a signal that she is not as interesting to you as other people are.
What to do instead: Bring her into fun conversations with others. Find creative ways to keep the fun alive between the two of you.
5. Not standing up for her in front of your children.
This makes her feel disempowered and can cause the kids to play favorites, and may even lead them to start disrespecting her.
What to do instead: Always stand with her in front of the children. Discuss disagreements behind closed doors. Apologize to the kids together when you are wrong.
6. Drinking more than she feels comfortable with.
If she feels embarrassed or unsafe by your drinking, it is too much — even if it is only two drinks.
What to do instead: Learn to listen to her and pull back when she says you are no longer pleasant.
7. Betraying her.
Not telling her the truth or becoming emotionally or physically involved with another person fractures every relationship. Trust is the foundation of all love relationships. This causes a deep wound of insecurity that leads her to become hyper-vigilant and question your every move.
What to do instead: Humbly admit your betrayal, ask for forgiveness and compassionately respond to her need for reassurance. Eventually, the relationship may be able to heal on its own. If not, find a therapist who can help the two of you process this strong emotion.
What to do if you’re feeling unwanted in a relationship
1. Figure out what’s causing the feeling.
First, it’s important to understand what aspects of your relationship are making you feel unwanted. Zero in on the things that trigger this feeling in you.
2. Express your feelings to your partner.
When speaking with your partner about feeling unwanted, it’s important to avoid doing so in a way that makes them feel attacked. Instead, focus on naming what you’re feeling and give specific instances and examples of what makes you feel that way using “I” statements.
3. Spend more quality time together.
Try to carve out some time for you to spend with each other. When you’re together, be mindful and present so you have the chance to re-form your emotional connection.
4. Do more of what makes you happy.
If you have the tendency to base your emotions on what your partner is feeling, focus on taking some time away for yourself to do the things that you enjoy.
5. Consider seeing a therapist.
Whether you find it hard to express your feelings or just want an unbiased and professional opinion of your relationship, try seeing a couples therapist who can help guide you back to a healthy relationship.
All relationships require a great deal of tender loving care.
Without it, they can easily spiral into boredom, disconnection, and betrayal. Loving compassion holds the bond of marriage together. Without it, the relationship will feel like an empty business arrangement.
Your love relationship is your most important source of stability, self-esteem, and prosperity. If you put your relationship with your partner as the priority, you will profit in more ways than you can imagine.
A Nigerian woman, Blessing Tunde, shared her harrowing experience of being compelled to have sexual relations with more than 40 men in the United Arab Emirates (UAE) by her traffickers.
During an interview on TVC’s “Your View,” she revealed that she was coerced into such actions by her sponsor, who had arranged her visa under the pretense of securing a job for her in the UAE.
“One evening, like 6pm, just took a shower and go and meet men dem back downstairs , because I was chilling there before I went back upstairs in David’s house while I was still living there, and then I’m done taking the shower, I go to my wardrobe to get my clothes and I wear my shirt, I wear my pants and one particular jacket was pulling me say ‘wear me, wear me’, it was sha calling me. So I carry am, put my hand inside make I wear am, something just dropped and I looked and it was jazz that was tied up, better juju in my room, jacket that just came from the laundry. ”
When asked how many people she was forced to sleep with, the Blessing said; “It’s countless, because it depends on how the customer came.”
When asked the maximum she has slept with in a day, she said; “Like 40-50 men per day”. She went further to say her sponsor was even happy because ‘he’ is making a lot of money from it
Blessing added that the painful thing is, “you will not even know the amount those people are paying”, adding that, “your own is just to work, while her sponsor will be at the gate collecting the money.”
On the caliber of men that were forced to to sleep with her, she said, they’re mixed up, UAE, Nigerian, Pakistan, Indian, etc.
Sharing one’s feelings with a romantic partner is often considered a crucial aspect of emotional intimacy.
However, not all men find it easy to open up to their wives or girlfriends.
The reasons behind this hesitation can vary widely from person to person.
Here, we delve into five common factors that might contribute to men being reluctant to share their feelings in romantic relationships.
1. Fear of being exposed:
A fear of their partners discussing vulnerabilities with others may lead some men to avoid opening up.
This reluctance could be rooted in a lack of trust in their partner or influenced by past experiences, prompting them to keep personal and sensitive matters to themselves.
2. Fear of being seen as less masculine:
Men might be hesitant to share their struggles or emotions, fearing that it could result in being perceived as less masculine by their partners.
This apprehension may be rooted in societal stereotypes linking vulnerability to weakness, potentially impacting their self-esteem and how they are perceived by others.
3. Concerns about judgment:
Men may worry about their partners’ reactions and fear being judged for their vulnerabilities.
The fear of not being understood or accepted can be a powerful deterrent, leading some men to keep their feelings and struggles to themselves.
4. Past experiences of vulnerability being exploited:
Some men may have had negative experiences in the past where they opened up to someone and had their vulnerabilities used against them, either in the relationship or in social circles.
This can create a sense of mistrust and reluctance to be emotionally open in the future.
5. Coping mechanisms:
Men might have developed coping mechanisms that involve internalizing their emotions or seeking support from friends or family outside the romantic relationship.
This behavior doesn’t necessarily indicate a lack of trust in their partners but may be a result of established patterns.
Encouraging open communication and fostering a supportive environment can help break down these barriers, allowing for healthier expressions of emotions in relationships.
It occurred in Oruro, Bolivia, at about 1am on Monday. The police have captured three men but are still searching for eight other people.
The men are being accused of giving the young girl alcohol and then sexually assaulting her in a far away place.
It’s unclear how the suspects were able to take the girl from her family at the festival.
Bolivia’s legal authorities have stated that they are investigating a serious crime where a 12-year-old girl was raped by a group of 11 people. The prosecutor in charge is looking into the case to find out what happened and take appropriate action.
Víctor Q has been doing well. R, Víctor HCH and Adolfo C. C have been caught by the police and will face charges soon.
The Prosecutor’s Office wants the suspects to be kept in jail before the trial, and the police are still looking for other people involved.
Mr Morales said that once they found out about the attack, they started to investigate. They looked into the victim’s psychological report, did an identification parade, and got a forensic medical certificate to prove that a crime had happened. This helped them find the first three people they suspect were involved. We will keep working together with the police to find the rest of the people responsible and make sure they are punished for their actions.
The report from the forensic team says that the girl’s body has clear signs of violence and injuries caused by rubbing on her spine.
‘We are studying the details and support we need from the Institute of Forensic Investigation and others to understand this incident better and ensure that there are consequences for it. ‘
‘We want to make sure that the people who are to blame are given a 30-year punishment in jail. ‘
The narrative of Bless, a fruit vendor who lives in the Accra neighborhood of Madina, illustrates the reality and sensation of things not going your way or as expected.
Bless, who as a little child wanted to be a nurse, grew up with the idea of having to work menial jobs to support herself.
In an interview with Eugenia Diabah on GhanaWeb TV’s Everyday People, Bless disclosed that her family’s financial situation prevented her from pursuing her passion of becoming a nurse.
“I completed JHS but was unable to continue because there was no money at home. No one could help with money or anything. I wanted to become a nurse but here I am today,” she said.
Bless went on to say that she has worked five jobs or more to support herself as an adult. She also mentioned that she used to work at a pub but had to leave due to male harassment.
“I worked at a bar for four months. I quit because the harassment from menwas too much and I couldn’t bear them again,” she added.
Due to persistent sexual harassment by men, she left her employment as a bartender and is now a fruit vendor
Three years ago, a wealthy and well-liked man received a tip-off suggesting that his wife was involved in a romantic relationship with his chauffeur.
In response, he enlisted the services of a detective who returned with a collection of unsettling photographs capturing his wife and the driver in various luxurious settings, confirming the husband’s suspicions.
When he confronted his wife, she admitted to the affair but also claimed that her husband’s actions had driven her to it.
The man was taken aback by his wife’s explanation. Through tears, he expressed his emotions, saying, “I’ve provided homes for you, replaced your cars every two years, financed your global travels, and offered you unlimited financial resources. Why would you do this to me, and why with my driver? Why… why…”?
The truth is, many men unknowingly push their partners away. Often, we inadvertently hurt and mistreat them, disregarding the fact that women possess hearts that can be shattered by our deeds and oversights. At times, we fail to recognize our transgressions until it’s too late.
What prompts women to distance themselves?
Excluding her from discussions: In a relationship, collaborative decision-making holds significant value to a woman. This practice makes her feel appreciated and valued. A partnership built on equality fosters a stronger connection, as both partners define goals and work collectively toward achieving them.
Regrettably, many Ghanaian men hold the belief that their wisdom surpasses that of their female counterparts. Consequently, they may disregard their partner’s contributions, making her feel isolated and potentially causing her to drift away.
Neglecting to show appreciation: Women invest a great deal in their relationships. They exhibit a higher level of empathy compared to men and are often willing to make substantial sacrifices for the sake of the relationship. It’s essential for them to know that their efforts are acknowledged.
Expressing gratitude generates feelings of value, importance, affection, and desire. Simple phrases such as “I love you,” “thank you,” and “you mean so much to me” hold immense significance. Without appreciation, a woman’s motivation to give her best dwindles, leading to potential disengagement.
Treating her as you would a man: Men and women possess distinct attributes—both physically and emotionally. For instance, women tend to process words more deeply. A seemingly minor comment to a man might carry significant weight for a woman. Criticizing your male friend’s dirty shirt might be brushed off, but such a remark can deeply wound a woman. Failing to treat your partner as a unique individual can unknowingly drive her away.
Overlooking her emotional needs: Relationships are built on fulfilling needs. Among a woman’s primary requirements are affection, companionship, commitment, and financial security. She longs for romance—expressions that foster closeness, passion, and intimacy. Gentle gestures like touch, cuddling, and embraces matter immensely. Regular, spontaneous gifts serve as demonstrations of love and goodwill.
Your presence and support provide her with a positive self-image, security, and tranquility. Your significance to her transcends material possessions like cars, money, and houses. Engaging in enjoyable activities together and spending quality time enriches her experience. Your partner seeks emotional security, your honesty, openness, and reliability.
Are you unintentionally pushing your partner away?
Maintaining a strong bond with your partner hinges on seemingly small gestures such as spending time together, acts of service, physical touch, and thoughtful gifts. These seemingly modest acts are actually monumental.
Your partner yearns for your companionship more than anything else. It’s essential to treat her with the respect you’d expect for anyone you care about. By making her feel cherished as a woman, you’ll avoid pushing her away.
Elevate your partner as your foremost priority. Treating her well transforms her into an exceptional woman, enabling her to reach her full potential. Prioritize her happiness, and in turn, you’ll find your own happiness. When you ensure her well-being, you forge a truly harmonious partnership.
Numerous men find themselves in difficult relationships where their most significant emotional needs – respect, intimacy, an attractive partner, and domestic care – remain unfulfilled by their partners.
Moreover, their partners exhibit selfish tendencies and focus solely on their personal desires, sometimes displaying critical, controlling, and abusive behavior. Deception becomes a part of the relationship, with lies used to conceal inappropriate actions. Some partners display intolerance and fail to prioritize their relationships, leaving their significant others feeling neglected.
When a man’s emotional needs are consistently unmet, his self-esteem can suffer, leading to a sense of emotional detachment. In response, some men choose to end the relationship, while others work tirelessly to mend it, and some simply endure the challenging situation.
Interestingly, despite clear signs that the relationship has lost its spark, many men opt to remain in these troubled partnerships. Even in the past, there have been stories, like one published six years ago in The Mirror, revealing that some men openly admitted to experiencing continuous abuse from their female partners.
However, these men often remain silent about their experiences, fearing ridicule or dismissing the abuse, which can be sexual, emotional, mental, social, or even physical. It becomes evident that numerous men face abuse within their relationships.
Environment The kind of family environment you grew in has profound effect on your marriage. If you grew in a good marriage, chances are you will also have a good marriage. Unfortunately, some men grew up in bad marriages in which they were abused in many ways.
Their parents lived in constant hostility, criticism and had poor communication.
They, therefore, grew up in pain and when they grow up, select partners who help to make up for their past hurts by creating the same difficult situation they grew up in. By loving such women they attempt to heal their past emotional pains.
Such men are, therefore, comfortable with women who create problems for them. Some call it repetitive repulsive disorder. These men move from one bad relationship to another.
Sadly, they believe it is their destiny to be in bad relationships because all their relationships are equally bad. In Akan, it is common for people to say ‘me ti nye aware mu’ to wit, I am unlucky in marriage. And they get into bad relationships and stay in it.
Ego: Women are other-focused and have great attachment to friends and relationships because they get great emotional fulfillment sharing their problems. As they talk about their problems they boost their energy and feel their problems lightened. They share their problems in marriage because they are sure their friends and colleagues will listen with empathy and give support.
On the other hand, men see talking about their problems in marriage as a sign of weakness. For example, if a man tells friends that his wife abuses him emotionally and socially, he will get no sympathy. In fact his friends will laugh at him and label him as weak. Many men are, therefore, too embarrassed to talk about their problems because nobody will believe them or show support.
Shame, therefore, makes some men stay in bad relationships. It becomes easier when their women give them occasional good times like sex to make up for their bad behaviour.
Some men stay because they simply pity their women and children. They, therefore, deny they are in bad relationships even when there are tell-tale signs that the relationship is bad. Again men have great emotional fulfillment as they solve their problems and help their women. They see a bad relationship as a challenge to prove their efficiency, competence and power.
They will do all it takes to hold on to it because giving up is a sign of failure. A man fears failure because it threatens his self-esteem. He is reluctant to give up and has hopes to get over his personal problems someday.
Personal benefits: Some men will stay in bad relationships, if their women will take care of their personal needs. They have comfortable homes, good cars and go on trips abroad courtesy of their ‘loaded’ women.
Some have joint investment with their partners and leaving could mean leaving everything they have worked for in their lives. They feel powerless and trapped in bad relationships. Again, for some men, a bad relationship is a good excuse to pursue their personal goals.
They have all the time to focus on their life goals and the more they succeed, the more they focus on their goals at the cost of their bad relationships. This happens because for men, a relationship is really not very important but success in business is.
Being in a good or bad relationship does not really count for some men as it does for women. For some men, what really counts is what you have and can do.
Social status: Some men stay in bad relationships to enhance their social status. In Ghana, every adult is expected to marry. An adult who is single is assumed to be irresponsible and unworthy of respect. Many men, therefore, stay in bad relationships to meet family honour, social and religious expectations. Today, we see ‘big’ men in lifeless marriages holding on to their marriage to boost their social or political image.
Are you in a bad relationship? Take a close look at your relationship. If it is bad you know it. Put your ego aside and do all it takes to restore it. Happily, studies show that in bad relationships, it takes one committed partner to turn it around because your woman will merely respond to what you do. Another good thing is that it is easy to please your lover because for a woman, the little things are the big things. Her greatest emotional needs are affection and companionship.
Show affection; send gifts often, no matter how small, because your woman will mark you equally for small and big gifts. Therefore, let your giving be regular without waiting for any special occasion because gifts are signs of love and goodwill and dispel hurts
Speak words of love and appreciation. Do acts of kindness and support. Make time for your love and share simple activities. Make her feel honoured treasured and special. Show appreciation for everything she does, no matter how big or small. If there is anything your woman wants, as far as possible, just do it because what may seem trivial to you may be a big deal to your woman.
Your relationship is your greatest asset and human investment. But it is hard work; If you work at it, it will work. Therefore, be your own magic formula and accept nothing less so that you can enjoy the amazing benefits of a relationship.
DISCLAIMER: Independentghana.com will not be liable for any inaccuracies contained in this article. The views expressed in the article are solely those of the author’s, and do not reflect those of The Independent Ghana
African clothing has evolved while preserving its unique designs, aligning with current fashion trends.
These styles showcase the cultural diversity of the continent, reflecting its various ethnicities and traditions.
With a wide range of colors, patterns, fabrics, and fashion approaches, African traditional outfits can be worn for different occasions or as everyday attire.
Here are five African fashion tips for men, highlighting the continent’s rich cultural heritage:
The Ghanaian traditional wrap
This attire, popular in Ghana, involves draping a large piece of fabric, such as kente cloth, over one shoulder while wrapping the other end around the waist. It is often worn at weddings and important ceremonies, indicating the wearer’s social standing. The outfit can be worn bare-chested or over a shirt.
To enhance the traditional aesthetic, one can complement the outfit with beads and a locally-made slipper called ‘Ahenema.’
This pairing adds cultural authenticity and further embraces the African fashion style. The intricate designs of the beads and the craftsmanship of the ‘Ahenema’ slipper contribute to a complete traditional ensemble, showcasing the unique cultural heritage and artistry of the wearer.
Smock – The Gonja cloth
The Gonja traditional cloth, originating from Northern Ghana and popular in West Africa, features woven black, blue, or white threads intricately woven into locally dyed cotton fabrics. These fabrics create distinctive white and black stripe patterns.
To showcase this traditional attire, the fabrics are tailored into shirts with embroidered necklines, typically adorned with white, black, white, and blue thread.
For a fashionable look, pair the Gonja shirt with dark-colored shorts or pants. This combination creates a stylish ensemble, blending traditional elements with modern flair. To elevate the style further, consider adding a traditional Kufi cap, enhancing the overall appearance with a touch of elegance and cultural significance.
Isiagu
The Isiagu, originating from the Igbo people of South-East Nigeria, holds significant cultural importance. The name “Isiagu” translates to “the head of a leopard” in a literal sense, although the fabric design now features a lion’s head.
This traditional attire consists of a silk fabric embellished with a lion’s head embroidery in a distinct pattern. It is a long, loose-fitting top typically worn over black pants or fastened knit wraps at the waist.
The Isiagu serves as a status symbol for Igbo men, particularly during formal occasions such as coronations, ceremonial gatherings, and chiefs’ funerals. It signifies the wearer’s prestige and is a representation of their cultural heritage.
Clergywoman, Becky Paul-Enenche has admonished married women to refrain from invading their husbands’ privacy.
In her message tochurchmembers, she warned them against checking their husband’s phones.
Becky who has been married to Pastor Paul Enechie for 29 years, asked women to mind their business.
She said;
“Don’t have secrets with each other. Women let me beg you, if your husband discloses a secret to you, let him not hear it from your brother’s mouth or from your sister’s mouth or from your colleague in the office.
Females account for two-thirds of the unemployed in Ghana, according to the 2022 Annual Household Income and Expenditure Survey Third Quarter Labour Statistics Report, which was released on Wednesday, May 3, 2023.
The Government Statistician,Professor Samuel Kobina Annim, emphasized at the report launch that the high rates of female unemployment were not solely due to their gender.
He stated that the unemployment rate for females was almost double that of males. “Unemployment among females was close to twice of males,” he said.
In the first three quarters of last year, about 157,000 individuals, which accounted for roughly 13.2% of the labour force, experienced a spell of unemployment lasting one or more days.
Other findings
According to the report, around 7.5 million individuals held their jobs continuously for three quarters out of approximately 11 million employees in each quarter. This suggests that roughly 3.5 million individuals were experiencing employment fluctuations over the three quarters, indicating vulnerability.
67% of jobless Ghanaians are women
Another important discovery was that the likelihood of shifting from informal employment to unemployment is five times greater on average than transitioning from formal employment to unemployment.
In Q3, two out of every three individuals who were unemployed but had been employed in Q1 were in precarious employment during the first quarter.
Lastly, the group of people who are burdened by the triple threat of being unemployed, food insecure, and multidimensionally impoverished increased by almost 55,000 between Q2 and Q3.
They are aphrodisiacs, oils, herbs, potions, or other substances, and their sole function is to improve romantic relations or sex.
It is a combination of two Hausa words – ‘Kayan’ which means; property, or things, and ‘Mata’ which means women. Put together, the word literally means ‘women’s things’.
It appears to have existed for centuries and originated from Northern Nigeria.
Originally, it was used by these women for sexual pleasure, and served as enhancers, or aphrodisiacs, especially for young brides, but in recent times, it has become a really huge trend for women all over the world.
In Ghana, the trend has become very prevalent and these products are even advertised via the internet and on various social media platforms.
Patrons of these products have diverse interests, to attract men for money, sex, marriage, etc.
What some may not know is how the Kayan Mata (kayamata) is used by its clients.
In a post on media personality – Naa Ashorkor’s Facebook page, she indicates how some women with in-depth knowledge about how people use the Kayan Matan for their ‘victims’ shared this with her on her show; ‘Just us’.
According to her, she picked some pointers which include the fact that the Kayan Mata products are in 3 categories; vaginal upgrade, faithfulness, and libido boosting, and the third; favour and attraction potions.
Users of the potion need to talk to the oil and indicate exactly what they want from it and it happens.
“In order to activate the potion, you simply talk to the oil. For instance – “oil, please let me attract rich men who can buy me a car”. When you go out, the men will literally be falling over themselves for you. They can’t help it,” she wrote.
She however indicated that some men who called into the show also shared how the male variation referred to as ‘For girls’ is used by some men for similar interests.
“Interestingly, when I activated the phone lines to ask ladies to share their experiences, only men called! Apparently, Kayan mata is a variation of “For girls’ and the men have interesting stories about the potency of this potion. Scary! One guy said his friend used it to get his wife to accept his marriage proposal. So this woman is currently under a spell. Apparently, a lot of married people are under spells they are not aware of,” Naa Ashorkor narrated.
Naa Ashorkor also shared stories of how some users of these products suffered side effects or had experiences which didn’t go in their favour.
In one instance, a woman who tried using it to attract men ended up attracting mad men. In another, a woman who tried using it on another man who already had activated the ‘For girls’ potion ended up dying.
“A lady who bought and used attraction potion now attracts only “mad men” literally, in traffic, they approach her and try to touch her, they literally chase her around town, sometimes more than one at a time. When she complained to the vendor she bought it from, she told her to go to Benin to see the original seller. There is no other way to undo this charm,” she shared.
Adding,
“The side effects are dire. Sometimes you cannot break away from this spell or spirit even if you want to. My guest shared a story about a girl who used it on a man, the man apparently had more potent potions which killed her. She is dead oo”.
Ghanaian men have been described to have a laissez-faire attitude towards certain situations. They seem to be very slow to action especially when they are needed the most.
A media practitioner Harriet Nartey, actor John Dumelo and an avid listener of Joy FM, Susan Adu Amankwah were on the Joy Super Morning Show on Friday to discuss the topic “What do Ghanaian men bring to the table” in a relationship?
Susan disclosed that Ghanaian men are not assertive. According to her, certain issues need to be dealt with directly and instantly yet Ghanaian men will pay little attention and keep them pending.
“Ghanaian men really can be laissez-faire, there are certain things you expect action, you expect a bit of assertiveness and then they relax and say oh let’s see how it goes and we will pick it easy, it will find its way,”
“It can be good at times, yes, but there are certain times that action must happen and the Ghanaian man is relaxed and you’re just confused,” she said.
Susan advised Ghanaian men to create a perfect balance between their diplomatic personality and also being assertive to create a smooth and comfortable environment.
“Every virtue when it gets to the extreme can become a vice,” she advised.
According to Madam Amankwah, this downside is almost only peculiar to Ghanaian men. She said she has encountered men from other countries who seem to be a bit more upfront and assertive than the typical Ghanaian.
On the other hand, the Ghanaian men in the studio came to their own defense to explain why they are slow to action and sometimes allow women to take charge.
Programme host Kojo Yankson agreed to the fact that Ghanaian men are slow to action, however, he explained that men do that because they are very calculated and cautious when handling issues because they always want to be accurate in giving solutions.
“I think Ghanaian men are slow to action generally because we are very deliberative, we want to deliberate and be as sure as possible before we take an action. We hate to be wrong or we hate to throw a resource in the wrong direction, so we want to get it right”, Mr. Yankson said.
Co-host Winston Amoah also said men mostly allow women to take charge for their own peace of mind.
“If you want your peace of mind, the woman is always right, when it gets difficult the men step in and get it done but until then, he wants to sit back and watch you do all the things. And it’s nice when the women are in charge, it’s so peaceful,” he said.
Harriet joined in to advise that going forward, she expects Ghanaian men to listen more and pay attention to detail.
“Hopefully in the future, we want to see the Ghanaian man not being diplomatic with everything because they have to portray niceness, gentility and loving,”
“We want to see the Ghanaian man listening more, quick to action, trusting the fact that whoever is offering them help is coming from a genuine place, do not think that it is being weaponized against you or there is a motive behind that,” Harriet counselled.
Data from the Ghana Statistical Service (GSS) indicates that, the average difference between the net salary of men and women in Ghana is GH₵165.
This was revealed in the earnings inequality report which presents statistics on earnings inequality among employees working in Ghana’s public sector based on administrative data sourced from the Controller and Accountant General’s Department.
According to the data, men have a higher average monthly net salary of GH₵2,669 while women have an average of GH₵2,504, indicating a gender pay gap of 6%.
The average monthly net salary of women was also reported to be lower than that of men across all the 16 regions in Ghana.
The difference according to the report was highest for employees in the Upper West Region, with men earning an average GHS 348 more than women. This represents a gender pay gap of 13%.
The Central Region however was reported to have the least gender pay gap of 5% with women earning GHS 124 less than men.
The report pegged Ghana’s public sector work force at 688,000 with 54.4% (374,477) being men and 45.6% (313507) being women.
They found that hair loss was almost 30% more common among men who had a daily habit of drinking up to one sugary beverage such as soft drinks, juice, energy drinks, sports drinks, and sweetened coffee and tea (totalling between one to three litres per week).
Men who reported having more than one sweetened beverage per day were even more likely to have hair loss, 42% higher risk compared to those who never drank sugary beverages.
The researchers also found that the majority of study participants drank a least some beverages containing sugar in their daily diet and nearly half reported having sweetened drinks more than once a day. But men who reported hair loss tended to drink more, about 12 servings a week on average, compared to seven per week for men who didn’t report hair loss.
One limitation of the study is that beverage habits aren’t the only factors in hair loss, and factors like the rest of the diet, overall health, and even stress and mental health history could play a role. For instance, men with hair loss also reported eating more fried food and fewer vegetables, according to the study. The researchers also found that a history of illness or anxiety, or even PTSD, were linked to a higher risk of hair loss.
So far, the link between sugary beverages and hair loss is correlation, not causation, and more studies are needed to find out whether drinking more directly raises the risk of balding.
You feel betrayed, your trust is destroyed, your self-esteem is ravaged, and you can’t stop questioning what you did wrong, why he cheated on you, and what signs of infidelity you must have missed.
The one thing I wish I had realized a decade ago, when the guy I considered to be the love of my life cheated on me, is that it really had nothing to do with me, it was the result of his own internal issues. And that’s how it usually goes.
The reason I was so confused back then is I didn’t have an understanding of the male psyche, and I didn’t know the internal psychological factors that cause men to cheat.
I am not saying there is an excuse for why he did it, but there is a reason. And knowing the reason can be therapeutic in a way.
So here is the real reason why he cheated on you.
Men don’t cheat because they’re scumbags or scoundrels. It’s not because they can’t control themselves and oftentimes it’s not because they no longer desire you. Men usually are tempted to cheat when they no longer feel like winners in their relationship.
This isn’t true of all men, but it is for most. I’m not talking about narcissists or sociopaths or guys with major commitment issues. I’m talking about normal, stable dudes.
A man’s most fundamental drive in this world is to feel like a winner. He needs to feel like he is “conquering,” like he is significant, like he is having an impact on the world, like he is pursuing his mission in life.
Women are typically more driven by the desire to connect and build interpersonal relationships. When a woman cheats, it’s usually because her emotional needs are no longer being met — maybe she no longer feels seen or cared for, or understood.
When a man cheats, it is most often because he feels like a loser in the relationship. He feels like he is constantly disappointing his woman and nothing he does is good enough.
He may feel like she no longer desires him sexually, like she doesn’t appreciate him, like she’s disappointed in him, like she isn’t impressed by him. If these feelings converge with him meeting a woman who is turned on by him, who does value him, who does appreciate him, who makes him feel like a man, well…
I’m not saying cheating, in this case, is okay or acceptable. I’m not giving excuses; I’m just giving a reason.
When my ex cheated on me I was devastated and thought he was the world’s biggest scumbag. I hated him and I hated her and I hated myself for getting involved with him and expending all that time and energy on him and the relationship.
However, in looking back I can understand exactly why it happened.
You see, his life was in utter shambles when he and I started dating. He had just been dumped by a girl he loved, he was failing miserably at his job, he was in debt, and he was completely lost with no direction or purpose in life.
Being young and naive and having no real understanding of what love is except for what I saw in the movies, I thought my love could heal him somehow. I thought if I loved him enough then he would snap out of his funk and be the man I knew he could be.
But I did it all wrong. I didn’t encourage him to get his act together and instead, tried to take care of everything for him.
I thought if I made his life as easy and manageable as possible he would love me even more and would suddenly find the motivation to get his life in order.
I paid for our dates because he couldn’t afford to, I did his laundry (because he couldn’t afford to), I cleaned his apartment, I fixed his resume, I searched for job listings online and applied to them for him, I kept doing and doing and was baffled as to why he kept sinking deeper into his rut.
After many months of things going from bad to worse, of our once passion-filled relationship drying up into an almost platonic, mother-son type of dynamic, he cheated on me and swiftly entered into a relationship with said mistress.
If that wasn’t bad enough, within a few weeks of them dating he all of a sudden transformed into the man he could never be with me! He got a real job, he committed to her, he took her on romantic dates, he was happy and alive.
I felt devastated and I beat myself up over it for months. What does she have that I don’t have? Where did I go wrong? Why wasn’t I good enough?
The answers didn’t come until several years later with both the wisdom that comes with experience and my somewhat hasty decision to reach out to him and ask the questions that had been haunting me.
The short version of this very long conversation is that while he did love and care for me, being with me made him feel like an even bigger loser.
The more I tried to “fix” him, the more damaged he felt. The more I did for him, the more useless he felt. The more I tried to make his life easier, the more comfortable he became with his own misery.
Cheating usually is the result of an easy opportunity and him feeling like a loser, either in life or in his relationship.
In order to feel valuable and significant again, he may give into temptation, it doesn’t matter how much he loves his partner. I know it may sound ridiculous to you, but this really is a testament to how vital a man’s need to feel like a winner is.
Men will often sacrifice things that they truly hold dear simply to temporarily get rid of the feeling of being a loser.
Affairs usually start when a man feels misunderstood, like the areas of his life that are important to him are being criticized or deemed not important. Then he finds a woman who appreciates him, who gives him something he isn’t getting from his primary relationship, and he strays.
It’s not that he doesn’t love his partner, she just can no longer connect to him in the way he wants most and when that sort of pure appreciation comes from another source he can’t help but be drawn to it.
For example, let’s say a guy is a programmer. During the workday, he is on fire with passion and thrives off of meeting the daily challenges of his job. After killing it all day, he comes home feeling on top of the world and wants to share that energy with his girl.
She quickly dismisses him and says, “You know I don’t understand all that technical stuff, it just makes no sense to me. Can we talk about something else?”
Bam — he has officially shut down. He feels like she doesn’t accept the most important part of his life, the thing that makes him feel effective and worthwhile.
Since she doesn’t care about what he does, he seeks that type of understanding elsewhere. He may spend more time with people who are part of that world or are passionate about the same kind of mission.
Maybe a girl will come along who finds what he does sexy, and she appreciates him for the effort and passion he puts into it.
When he’s with her, he gets all this validation and appreciation for the man he is and the mission he’s on. He feels good about himself around her, he feels seen, he feels desired, and these things combined have the potential to take him down a bad path.
You don’t have to study code or take programming classes. It doesn’t even matter if you’re the most technologically challenged person on the planet.
You don’t have to connect to the technical side at all, what you should try to connect with are the emotions he feels about it. It’s easy to recognize when a man is excited about something when he’s driven to win and succeed.
You aren’t responsible for his entire emotional well-being, he also needs to live his life in a way where he feels good about himself and that doesn’t only come from you. You can’t change him or control him, all you can do is try to build a meaningful connection and support his aspirations in life (and he should do the same for you as well).
When a man is with a woman who taps into his vision and what he wants out of life and tries to connect to these areas, he feels empowered and inspired and he won’t ever want to do anything to jeopardize the relationship.
In an article revealing the most common things men complain about in marriage counseling, psychotherapist and Neuman Method co-creator M. Gary Neuman revealed the biggest complaint he hears from men who have cheated usually isn’t a lackluster sex life, but rather feeling under-appreciated by their wives.
“The problem is, too many women think that if they are overly appreciative to their husbands, they’ll reduce their husband’s desire to please her. It’s quite the opposite. actually. Men are energized when they feel their wives are appreciating them,” he said.
I want to just add that I do not think it is ever okay to cheat. I think it is cruel and selfish and I am not excusing it in any way — I’m explaining it.
More than anything I hope by understanding the reason, you won’t blame yourself for his transgression and think it said something about you, which is the huge mistake I made.
The narrative that has been spun around the issue cheating for the longest time is that men cheat more than women, but are more hurt and distraught and angry when they find out they’ve been cheated on.
It’s kinda straightforward like that in our collective consciousness. The narrative sees us believe that women somehow ‘expect’ to be cheated on because ‘all men cheat’ and ‘men will always be men.’
So what we have is an unfair situation, a particularly bothersome relationship dynamic which makes it feel OK for women to pardon and forge on when their men cheat; but on the other hand, validates men’s indignation and righteous rage when they get cheated on.
An excellent option to protect yourself from cheating is to use mSpy software. You will see who calls your partner and what messages she gets on Messenger, Whatsapp, and Snapchat. mSpy can provide peace of mind to you.
So let’s talk about reasons why this is so. Why does it bother men so much when a woman cheats on them, and why do more men find cheating absolutely unforgivable compared to women?
1. They know that cheating, for women, is solely for emotional purposes
When women cheat, it is for emotional reasons. Women do not cheat for physical reasons, and for the most part it’s not for sexual gratification. It has been said that the need to bridge an emotional gap, to plug some emotional vacuum is what leads women into affairs.
So, for men, knowing that the woman has detached herself emotionally and that their time is likely over makes cheating an extra-uneasy pill to swallow for them.
2. Ego takes a hit
Whereas women become [inexplicably] ashamed and embarrassed when their partner cheats on them, men see cheating as an affront on their ego. They probably feel that being cheated on is the highest form of disrespect ever, and this makes it even more difficult to stomach it.
Because, you know, men think they deserve respect as a birthright.
3. They never see it coming
The average man, no matter how unkempt, emotionally unavailable, difficult and problematic he is, still feels like he deserves loyalty and may never, for the life of him, imagine that his babe has it in her to either dump him or cheat with another man.
And while this is not entirely a wrong thing to expect, [I mean, if you’re still with someone, it’s only OK for them to expect loyalty from you] it’s still kinda deluded and naïve to think that women, especially the ones with unmet and unsatisfied emotional needs cannot or will not seek to get it from someone else.
4. They feel like cheating is for men
Crazy, right? But, yeah, it’s true. Some men are conditioned to think that only women get cheated on. They think it’s a man’s game to do that. Cheating is something men do. A woman cheating is… just wrong. But when it’s a man, it could be pardonable, explainable, there could be some way to justify it, it could be explained away, put in some perspective that makes it less of an issue.
But a woman cheating… and God safe us… a married woman?! Nah. That’s too scandalous. The greatest sin of all time.
5. They’ve been faithful all along
Like we pointed out above, cheating is painted to look like a man’s game. So when a man chooses to stay faithful to his wife or partner, they think they deserve some medal. Some extra cool points for being the guy who does not cheat, not to be rewarded with cheating.
Conclusion:
The point of this is not to justify women cheating or saying it’s cool for men to get cheated on. Hopefully everyone sees cheating as something that bothers everyone equally. Women get just as hurt as men when they’re played. And anyone can cheat. Anyone can actually get cheated on, and ultimately, everyone owes their partner the duty to be faithful and honest.
It’s the body part that men arguably value the most, so they owe it to their penis to always keep it clean, healthyand fit for purpose.
Give it the care it deserves and you may not be the only one to benefit – your partner will probably be grateful too.
Gently wash the penis with warm water each day when you’re having a shower or bath. If you have a foreskin, pull it back gently and wash it underneath.
If you don’t wash underneath the foreskin correctly, a cheesy-looking substance called smegma may begin to gather.
Smegma is a natural lubricant that keeps the penis moist. It’s found on the head of the penis and under the foreskin.
If smegma builds up in the foreskin, it can start to smell, stop you from easily pulling your foreskin back and become a breeding ground for bacteria.This can cause redness and swelling of the head of your penis, called balanitis.
‘Off-putting smell’
It’s really surprising how many men don’t clean underneath their foreskin. Not only do they regularly develop complications from poor hygiene, but it’s also very off-putting for a sexual partner.
Don’t try to forcefully pull back the foreskin of a baby or young boy as this could be painful and cause harm. Their foreskin might still be attached to the head of the penis and will therefore not retract fully. At this stage of their development, there’s no need to clean inside the foreskin.
While regular personal hygiene is important, too much washing with soap and shower gels can cause soreness. Gently washing your penis once a day with warm water is sufficient to maintain good hygiene. If you want to use soap, choose a mild or non-perfumed soap to reduce the risk of skin irritation.
It may be tempting to use talc and deodorants on your penis, but these are best avoided because talc will get under the foreskin, where it may cause irritation.
Circumcised men have to be just as careful about cleaning their penis. Gently washing the penis with warm water once a day is sufficient.
Testicles and pubic area
Don’t forget to clean the base of the penis and the testicles, where sweat and hair can combine to produce a strong smell, just as unpleasant as in your armpits.
These areas need frequent washing to stop sweat from accumulating, especially as they are enclosed in underwear for most of the day.
Make sure the area between the base of the testicles and the anus is also clean and odour-free.
While you’re down there, it’s a good idea to check your testicles for lumps once a month after a warm bath or shower.
Look out for any unusual lumps or swellings that were not there before. Find out what testicles should look and feel like.
Women are always trying to understand the reasons why guys choose bad girls. In the end, they usually discover they wanted a good girl all along.
So why dating a bad girl, to begin with? While we may not like the reasons why guys choose bad girls, they do actually make sense.
Whether you consider yourself good or bad, these reasons might help you understand guys just a little better.
Bad seems hotter
One of the biggest reasons why guys choose bad girls is sex appeal. Honestly, which is hotter – the quiet good girl in the backgroundin jeans and a tee or the bad girl in the ripped jeans, tight tank and leather jacket flirting with all the guys? Guys think bad means hot. Sometimes it’s hard for them to look past it. It doesn’t mean you’re not attractive, but bad girls tend to stand out.
They’re more outgoing
The one thing I’ve always envied about bad girls is they really don’t seem to care what everyone thinks. While that’s not usually true, it does help them seem more confident and outgoing than most good girls. Guys love confidence. They also love extroverts. Don’t be afraid to show how confident and outgoing you are. Guys might just skip the bad girl for the good girl.
It’s an exciting risk
Good girls are sometimes a little predictable. They’ll be a nice girlfriend, but where’s the excitement? Guys are natural risk-takers. Bad girls are unpredictable. Guys have no idea whether they stand a chance or if the relationship will last. It’s like an extreme roller coaster ride. The thrill may only be temporary, but guys will risk it every time.
No thoughts of the future
While you might look for a guy based on how mature he is, most guys take the opposite approach. They aren’t thinking about the future. All they see is here and now. You might be great as a wife and mother, but a bad girl comes off as someone into having fun. Guys are often drawn to women who don’t seem like the future matters to them. It takes the pressure off and just lets them have fun.
It’s a challenge
Guys love challenges. Just look at how they act around their friends and you’ll instantly see how competitive they are. Bad girls offer a fun, unique challenge. They play hard to get and make guys really work for it. What guys don’t understand is good girls are usually harder to get. Still, bad girls seem like a bigger challenge, so they’re instantly more appealing.
They are rebels
Guys love rebellious girls. This is especially true during the teen and college years. What’s more exciting than a girl who shuns authority, skips classes, sneaks out and parties when they’re not supposed to? The answer of course is a good girl, but guys don’t see it that way. They like the rebellious spirit, even if it’s not what’s best for them. Give the guy some time to mature and he’ll soon see good is just as sexy
Not as intimidating
Bad girls often seem more like one of the guys. Good girls tend to be smart, mature and focused. Guys tend to find all of those traits a little intimidating. Plus, if you seem like you have your life in order, it doesn’t seem like you really need him. The bad girl looks like she needs to be tamed. To them, it’s a fun, exciting adventure instead of an intimidating wall they don’t understand.
Fewer strings
Until a guy is really ready to settle down, he’s not that interested in women who seem like the serious type. Good girls often come off as instantly ready to settle down and have a family, even if that couldn’t be further from the truth. The bad girl seems flighty and just as afraid of commitment as he is. To him, it’s the perfect match. Sadly, it’s a match that usually never lasts.
It’s rare, but men can and do get breast cancer. Men’s breasts don’t fully develop like women’s do, but all men have breasttissue.
Male breast cancer is most likely to develop in the milk ducts. This is called ductal carcinoma. For a small number of men, it starts in milk-producing glands. This is called lobular carcinoma.
Only about 1 percentTrusted Source of all cases of breast cancer are in men. In 2015, there were about 2,350Trusted Source new cases of male breast cancer. About 440Trusted Source men lost their lives to the disease.
Because it’s uncommon, men may be more inclined to ignore warning signs and delay seeing a doctor. Awareness that men can and do develop breast cancer is essential to early diagnosis and treatment.
Early diagnosis and treatment generally lead to a more positive outcome. Read on to learn more about risk factors and symptoms of breast cancer in men, and what you should do about it.
The exact cause of male breast cancer isn’t known. Risk factors for breast cancer in men include the following:
Young men can get breast cancer, but the risk increases as you age. The mean age for men at diagnosis is between 60 and 70 years.
An inflammation of the testicles, which is called orchitis, increases your risk.
You’re at greater risk for breast cancer if close relatives have had breast cancer. Also, some inherited mutated genes, like BRCA2, can increase your risk of breast and prostate cancers.
Surgical removal of a testicle, which is called an orchiectomy, increases your risk.
Exposure to estrogen, a female hormone, can also raise your risk. Men who have a genetic condition called Klinefelter’s syndrome often produce higher levels of estrogen. Other things that can increase estrogen levels include hormone therapy, cirrhosis of the liver, and obesity.
Previous radiation treatment to the chest increases your risk.
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The symptoms of breast cancer in men are similar to those in women. These include:
a breast lump that you can see or feel
an enlargement of one breast
nipple pain
discharge from the nipple
sores on the nipple or areola
an inverted nipple
enlarged underarm lymph nodes
You should contact your doctor right away if you have any of these symptoms.
When both breasts grow larger in a man, it’s called gynecomastia. This condition is unlikely to be cancerous, and it may be caused by:
weight gain
certain medications
marijuana use
excessive alcohol use
When in doubt, it’s best to ask your doctor, especially if you have known risk factors.
Your doctor will ask you about your medical history and conduct a physical examination.
An ultrasound and an MRI are two noninvasive tests that may be used to get detailed pictures. Blood work can help check for signs of disease.
You may need a biopsy if cancer can’t be ruled out. Using a needle, your doctor will remove a sample of the suspicious tissue. In some cases, the entire lump may have to be removed. The tissue will be sent to a pathologist who will examine it under a microscope to determine if it’s cancerous.
Pathology tests can help identify the type of cancer you have and how quickly it can be expected to grow. This will help your doctor recommend the best treatment plan for you.
There are a few surgical options:
In a lumpectomy, the tumor, plus some healthy tissue around it, is removed. If the tumor is larger or you have more than one tumor, it may be better to remove the entire breast. This is called a mastectomy. This sometimes involves removal of chest wall muscles and nearby lymph nodes.
Radiation therapy is used to kill cancer cells that may have been missed by surgery.
Chemotherapy is a systemic treatment. It’s used to kill cancer cells throughout your body.
Targeted therapy focuses on specific substances that are helping your cancer grow. If your lab tests showed particular hormone receptors in the cancer cells, hormone therapy may be prescribed. These medications can block the production of certain hormones. Monoclonal antibody therapy also targets specific substances that are helping your cancer grow.
A combination of treatments is usually necessary.
Men survive breast cancer at about the same rate as women who are diagnosed at the same stage.
The five-year relative survival rate for male breast cancer is 84 percent. The 10-year relative survival rate is 72 percent. These are only averages, though. Breast cancer also tends to be diagnosed later in men than in women.
Besides the type of breast cancer you have and the stage at diagnosis, your individual outlook depends on a lot of unique factors, including:
your age
your general health
the treatment you choose
how well you respond to that treatment
Your doctor is the best source of information regarding your outlook.
As I addressed in a previous post, there are various reasons men and women prefer to fly solo. But especially after a particular age, single men face unique questions.
People often speculate they must fear commitment, have been betrayed in a prior relationship, or have some type of personality disorder. Research indicates, however, that the explanation may be far more straightforward.
Notwithstanding the proliferation and popularity of dating apps, it is also true that many people enjoy the freedom and flexibility of single life.
Even many daters are reluctant to take relationships to the next level if it involves sacrificing autonomy and independence. Indeed, we all have friends who lead fulfilling lives, who seem perfectly content keeping romantic relationships at arms-length, often to the dismay of partners seeking greater intimacy.
We tend to psychoanalyze relationship-reluctant individuals as if something was “wrong†with them. What happened to them in the past? Were they abandoned in childhood? Did an ex-partner betray them? We also stereotype men as more likely to be gun-shy regarding relational intimacy or walking down the aisle.
Sometimes, relationship reluctance is indeed due to a past betrayal or broken heart. Other times, however, it is simply due to personal preference. According to research, for self-assured men, in particular, singlehood signals success and satisfaction.
Single and Satisfied: The Significance of Self-Esteem
Menelaos Apostolou and Rafaella Philippou (2022) explored the effects of self-esteem and desirable traits on the decision to remain single.ii They distinguished between involuntary singlehood, defined as people who would rather be in an intimate relationship and those who are single by choice. They investigated the link between possessing valuable traits that people prefer in a partner and self-esteem on singlehood status.
They found that self-esteem was a significant predictor of marital status for men. Higher scores correlated with a higher probability of being in a relationship or single by choice rather than involuntarily single. They found no such link between self-esteem and marital status for women.
The Deception of Desirability
Apostolou and Philippou also looked at the impact of desirable traits on relationship status. They noted that, as referenced in current literature, such traits include intelligence, good character, appearance, social status, and resource acquisition potential. The researchers observed that people who lack such qualities would find it harder to attract and retain intimate partners.
However, Apostolou and Philippou found that generally, for both genders, self-ratings of desirability did not directly predict marital status. However, some traits had significant indirect effects on men, the largest being “good looks,†where higher scores were linked with higher self-esteem, which was associated with a higher likelihood of being in a relationship or single by choice.
Avoiding Stigma or Stereotype
When considering the agenda, aspirations, or relationship potential of single men, especially men who have aged out of their younger years, we recognize that we shouldn’t stereotype or stigmatize. But we also should recognize the potential absence of ulterior explanations for resisting relationships; some self-assured men are simply single by choice.
[ii] Apostolou, Menelaos, and Rafaella Philippou. 2022. “What Predicts Involuntary Singlehood: Investigating the Effects of Self-Esteem and Having Desirable Traits in a Greek-Speaking Sample.†Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences, June. doi:10.1037/ebs0000299.supp (Supplemental).
Thedistin.com has sighted a video of a Ghanaian pastor blasting men who took a loan to marry a woman.
According to the Pastor who was speaking to his congregation, any man who takes a loan with the aim of marrying a woman is a big fool.
The Man Of God indicated that men who do that are just inviting problems into their marriage. He added that if the woman can appreciate the normal wedding you can afford then let her go.
He said;
“NO MAN SHOULD BE FOOLISH ENOUGH TO GO AND TAKE A LOAN. YOU ARE A FOOL IF YOU GO AND TAKE A LOAN
TO MARRY. YOU ARE A DOUBLE FOOL. I HAVE SAID IT WITHOUT APOLOGY.â€
Men are funnier than women, researchers have claimed.
They looked at the results of various studies in which people were asked to rate men and women’s humour – without knowing their sex first.
Researchers found that 63% of men were funnier than the average woman.
The study looked at normal people rather than professional comedians, but Marina Bye, one half of the comedy duo Siblings, says the study feels “unnecessary”.
“With comedy that’s the last thing you want,” she told Radio 1 Newsbeat.
She worries it could put women off getting into comedy.
“You want the worst and the best comedians to try because you never know. This study will cripple bravery.
“I really think it’s unnecessary to do this study. They could’ve done something progressive.”
Researchers from Aberystwyth University and the University of North Carolina analysed 28 studies which looked at how funny around 5,000 people were.
They wanted to see whether the stereotype that men are funnier than women was true.
Writing in Psychology Today, lead researcher Dr Gil Greengross said: “This stereotype is shared by both men and women – but of course, just because it exists does not mean it is true.”
In many of the studies they looked at, men and women were asked to write a funny caption to accompany a cartoon – and then independent judges rated their funniness without knowing their gender.
Dr Gil said the results found that “to the best of our knowledge, on average, men appear to have higher humour production ability than women”.
Speaking to Radio 1 Newsbeat on Tuesday, he added: “To clarify, the whole thing is not about ‘women are not funny’… obviously there are some very funny stand-up comedians and I know many female comedians, some personally.
“Sara Pascoe, for example, she’s a great comedian and she’s probably funnier than 99% of all males in the world… it’s just that on average we find there’s a difference.”
He says evidence suggests humour plays a “major role in mating”.
“There are so many amazing male and female comedy shows. I don’t know why they’re trying to make it a scientific fact that women aren’t funny.”
Maddy says being a female in comedy is “better than it was before” but it’s still a “man’s world”.
She recalls handing out fliers for their show at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and a woman said it looked good but her boyfriend doesn’t “think women are funny”.
“The stereotype does exist but our way of dealing with it is to just do comedy.”
